october 26th:

since i was last here, i went to my first two drag shows!!! they were really fun. the first was at a salon after hours, i went with my sibling who is friends with the salon owner and my bestie who i invited along. it was a pretty small crowd (which made sense considering the venue) but honestly that was probably the perfect venue for my first show, especially considering i have some sensory issues with noise. i even got to talk to one of the queens for a bit after the show and she was super nice!!

the second show was at a bar in our area, and honestly??? aside from the show being great the vibes were immaculate. i hadn't been to a queer bar before (bc i don't drink and up until like. somewhat recently i was a bit more reclusive) but i am definitely going back there. show itself was awesome, two of the queens from the show we went to earlier that week were performing and their stuff was great, but WOWWWWW the queens that i hadn't seen before. WOW. the one burlesque performer they had also had the first half of her set be ALL mcr music which had me and my friend straight up pogging at each other lol. i also had a mango liquid death for the first time which was really tasty.

i'm also going to more stuff soon!!! same bar has an emo night tomorrow that i'm going to dressed as a vampire (finally got that costume finished, bebop unfortunately didn't work out) though tbh i might leave the fangs off. they were kind of a pain at the first show lol. i'm also attending another play next week which i'm really looking forward to!! i haven't read it ahead of time (which like. i think i've only done once and it was entirely by coincidence) but it seems like it'll be interesting and another friend of mine is in it!! which is extra incentive to go. we might do dinner together again afterwards, though we'll see how things shake out. i kinda wanna cook for everyone again as it's something i've really come to miss since moving out of uni dorms. had some fuckin khao tom soup the other day that was so good it sent me into a 'wow i miss eating meals w other people and my dumb emo stairwell in the parking garage by my old apartment and the bus and the quiet glow of the streetlights on a 4am walk and the one tram driver who would listen to telenovelas and 90s techno and walking to dinner and boba and such' spiel on tumblr the other day lol

i've gotten back into walking and into pikmin bloom as a result!!! the weather is FINALLY starting to cool here, so I don't have to wait until evening to actually go and try to get a walk in. i wanted to get one in today but i had a blood test and it wiped me out WAY more than usual for some reason. so i've been inside resting for most of the day aside from some errands i had to take care of in the morning.

job search is still going abysmally slow (i got completely ghosted by [REDACTED MAJOR CRAFT RETAILER] and the other job that gave indication of an interview just kinda. didn't call me lol) but i have been seeing more positions i would Actually Qualify For on listings boards and i talked to some friends about it and it sounds like it's unfortunately a common situation among people my age regardless of the field you're going into. a friend of mine who works in tech and got his degree from a school that's like. prestigious and well-regarded has had zero luck and got rejected from an electronics department job at fucking target. employers really be like 'oh nobody wants to work' meanwhile they won't hire anyone even if they're overqualified to hell and back, it's ridiculous. i was told by another friend that sometimes to get a job you've just gotta bother the shit out of the hiring manager until they either tell you to fuck off or hire you which like. if there's a spot i really think i should be in, i'll def go for that strategy.

i've also had just??? unmatched creative energy the past few days. started and nearly finished my first zine (still drafting how to layout text), added more decorations to my bass, got a BUNCH of stuff done for holiday gifts for friends, started rearranging one of my corkboards, did a bunch of collage work, put the finishing touches on something i meant to do ages ago and just??? man holy shit my antidepressants are working, thank god.

but yeah things are going good!!! good vibes all around. hopefully the job works out by the end of the year, i also need to get back on track for getting my lisence but it'll all work out in due time.