november 27th:

aaaa it's been a few weeks

STILL getting ghosted by job applications which isn't fun at all. i talked to my brother about it and he was like 'yyyyyeah you've unfortunately graduated into a really shit job market, good luck' which uh! isn't encouraging! at all! i think if i don't hear anything by january i'm just gonna start in on my substitute teaching certificate and go for that, since at least that pays well even if i'm intimidated by like... being trans in the education system lol. i'm going to talk to the manager of the place i got a reccomendation for tomorrow so hopefully that works.

aside from job stuff, i also spent a solid week and a half busting ASS cleaning my parents place. like, scrubbing-the-grout-for-40-minutes, hauling-16-bags-of-trash-10-miles-to-the-dump, 6-9-hours-per-day-spent-just-cleaning levels of deep cleaning. my sibling's bf was supposed to visit last week, but that ended up getting delayed to next month. i was PISSED when i first got the news, as my sibling was super upset, but once i got more information, i was less mad and moreso just like. man. shit situation but things happen.

i also got my old laptop traded in and man... pro tip: don't buy a surface, and definitely don't trade it into best buy. they literally were like 'ok we'll offer you in-store credit or cash' and then didn't offer me cash so i had to buy Something from there despite not wanting anything. i ended up getting pokemon legends arceus, which despite not really wanting it, i'm having a pretty good time w so far! i didn't expect to like it as much as i do, since i've generally been unimpressed w pokemon's output the past few years.

got holiday gifts taken care of for all my friends and my sibling, which it's nice to have that pressure off my back. got my sibling a bionicle they've been wanting for ages and they were super excited to get it and put it together.

got myself a few small things i've been wanting for my collection; i found a super good deal on the kaito and append rin nendoroids, so I grabbed those as soon as i could. i also have the kyouko and sayaka set on the way, which was definitely a splurge but i've been wanting to re-add them to my collection for literal years.

been kind of lacking in the social department aside from attending dinner with my bestie's family last week, which was really nice and i'm glad they invited me. i just kind of can't wait until next month when everyone's on winter break and can hang out ;;;

kind of looking forward to seeing my spotify wrapped next week? though knowing how much of my music-listening-time this year was spent on CD, idk how representative it'll be of my actual listening habits.

i'm also VERY lowkey getting into macross. like, VERY VERY lowkey. idk shit aside from delta is mid despite it having really good music and that the mari ijima stuff is kind of killer. and that frontier gave us the debut of megumi nakajima, who would shortly thereafter be recruited by internet co. to be gumi's voice provider (and gumi's design is very ranka-esque, 100% on purpose). i also wanna watch gundam witch from mercury at some point bc i've heard that it's really good despite sunrise killing it early and being Really Fucking Weird about the gayness of their leads.

oh yeah, following up on the jacket from last time; dyeing it went well (despite being a messy as hell process), though i still REALLY didn't like the fit, so i gave it to my sibling and hunted down a different jacket for myself. currently in the process of gathering patches for it -- i have some old rin and len ones, a cheap coffin one i got from hot topic, and i have an MCR shirt i bought a size too small on accident that i plan on turning into a back patch.

i'm also making decent progress on my driver's ed now that i have an actual curriculum to follow beyond just studying the handbook blindly. and i'm revisiting studying japanese bc i'm VERY rusty when it comes to writing stuff out, despite my listening skills being pretty decent. i'm hoping w the driver's ed to get my permit test out of the way next month and then spend the rest of december and january practicing for my driving exam.

also, working towards top surgery has been highley disheartening lately. i was making really good progress towards my goal weight for my consultation and then i somehow gain 12 lbs in as many days. like, i was eating a little bit more because i was doing full shifts worth of physical labor each day, which i'm not used to, but to think literally all my progress is gone bc of that... sigh. i might just reach out to gender affirmative care and arrange a meeting with someone like 'hey so BMI limits for this surgery in particular are kind of BS, as the risk for complications in larger BMI patients is the same as it is in non-larger BMI patients' bc like. i've been busting my ass for 6 months and nothing's working, i just want these Gone.

currently just in the 'i'm tired and i just want to be employed so i don't feel so bad about the position i'm in' mode tbh. at least my room is clean and i can just kind of coast until i hear back about employment.